My shadow ripples through the current of the water, casting an image that reflects my soul, unstable, wavering and anxious. My steps are slow and thoughtless in the setting sun and feel heavier with each movement that follows. The wind does not speak and its voice remains quiet as I long for its sound. I am caught in my own thoughts and imagination, wrapped in a blanket of emotions.
My heart has no rest, as it is afflicted by the burdens of the mind. But yet, i have not been crushed underneath it. My thoughts are full of worry and sorrow of things i cannot change. But yet, i have not felt complete despair. I feel alone in my pain that no medicine can heal, that cuts to the core of my being. But yet, I do not feel any mortal wound.
I do not understand why I am alive or how to end the ache in my heart. I yearn for a voice from God, but the silence is deafening as the wind around me. I cannot know how I am able to go on as the burden is too heavy to carry alone. I hold on to the promises of God as I cry out for help, but my tears ran dry a long time ago. I pray for the pain to go, but all i have received are sleepless nights. I carry this affliction with me, not knowing or understanding its purpose. It will not end, it will not leave, and it will not let go. An answer to this burden is what I want because it is comfort that I seek and I cannot have. Only my faith has remained and it is my faith that will grow, this I believe and this is what will bring me through.
