Thankfulness Comes at a Cost.

Thankfulness comes at a cost

It is a decision to give up our wants and desires

To quench the jealousies in our hearts that are like raging fires

And to be thankful for what God gave

Who lost everything, only to defeat death from inside a cave

Thankfulness comes at a cost

Even if we have little to give others

We still consider them our fellow brothers

And to choose to give from ourselves

To fill the food on a strangers shelves

Thankfulness comes at a cost

It is to know that we were born with nothing

And we will return to the earth with nothing

And we are alive to worship God, even if only with a single breath

Knowing we will spend our eternity with Him, having escaped the curse of death

True Character

Our true character, our true nature

Deceives those we have come to know

Hiding in the dark recesses of our soul

Waiting, watching, to escape its fragile cage

Our thoughts are chained to its will

Churning our minds to its call

As we struggle to show only our noble side

Straining to contain it with a faint smile

Its voice echoes inside, crying to be set free

And when we grow weak, we give in for all to see

Releasing it from the dark to cloud the light

Shattering the myth of our fictional selves

Perfection has been lost and hypocrisy gained

Our sin and shame tells us to run away, to hide

As we desperately try and rebuild the crumbling wall

Sending us back into the blackness we know so well

Only a glimmer of hope, a ray of light that stops us

It shines through our darkness in the shape of a cross

Telling us that there is a better side, a better way

If only we will cry out for what has been freely given.

Father, forgive us for we have sinned,

Let your true character and glory shine through us!

A Prayer to God: Psalm 69:5-6

A prayer based versus from Psalm 69 versus 5 and 6. 

Original verses:

O God, you know my folly;

    the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.

6 Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me,

    O Lord God of hosts;

let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me,

    O God of Israel. (ESV)

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O God, you know all of my mistakes and everything I have done wrong to those around me.  I have sinned against you and chosen my own path of righteousness. My sins and failures have been kept in darkness for too long and I have lived thinking that maybe, just maybe this one lie would not be counted against me. That if I could just choose my own path this once that you would overlook it. I lived believing that I was my own god and that I could change my mistakes by doing good to others.

How foolish I was to think that the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you!  O God, you see everything and know everything.  How could I believe that the darkness in my heart would not be seen by your light? That I live life believing I had something to lose, and this loss would be the nakedness of my soul poured out and seen by those around me. How much I wanted to hide behind my lies and deceit Lord, I was only listening to what Satan was telling me. Oh how foolish I was to think that You could not see through my soul!

Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God. Let those who see me see You! I pray that my walk in life is not lived in darkness. That I trust you and be humbled in my faults so that your glory can shine that much brighter through me. Help me to be the witness that you want me to be so that others who believe in You can see the strength that you have given me. Let me be able to uplift and encourage my brothers and sisters Lord and the faith that I have. Give me the wisdom to know the difference in the choices I make and live in obedience to your Word Lord.

Let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God. Let me be the witness that you want me to be. Let me reach out with love and be filled with the Holy Spirit. Let me not judge those around me but show them the joy that only you can bring God.  Help me to listen to your voice and be a person of integrity that will allow your life to shine into those who seek the Truth.  Only with your guidance Lord, can I help others turn to you and know the life that waits in eternity.

Sprinting Towards the Goal

I stand,
Perplexed by your continuous calling of my name. 

Refusing to let go as I hide behind my anger and shame

I have grown tired of walking the path of my choosing

And it was only your voice during this time that was so soothing
I grew to resent the path that I had chosen over the years

Wishing that I could take back the time I had spent in tears
As I stand, it is your love that has finally captured my heart
Pulling me towards yourself and the joy that you brought

I walk,
Being pulled slowly toward you each day and night
Even with the worldly pleasures so close, I keep trying to see your light.
Walking takes every ounce of energy I have as I lose focus on my goal
And when I feel like giving up, it is you who covers my life-sized hole

My walk is not straight and I still stumble in my sin as I try to stay on your path

In my self-pity, you remind me that it was your Son that covered me from your wrath
I have learned to see you through the fog of my short life on this Earth
So I walk, not by my will, but through yours, as I hear you tell me how much I’m worth

I run,
The trials that you have helped me overcome have given me renewed joy
I see the chains of the past falling away with each link you destroy
The rust was there and all I had to do was entrust it all to you
As I was molded to be free and to see things from your worldview
You have changed me, loved me, disciplined me, and led me through the flame.
And I run to draw nearer to you, as I see that you have loved me all the same.
You are the one that has had the faith in me when it should be the other way around.
And seeing your Son on that cross, I praise you for letting grace abound

I sprint,
So that I will not be entangled by everything that I have left behind me.
It is from these things in my life that I have learned to flee
Your promises of a new birth and new life has given me the joy to carry on
You have become my everything and I know you will be there even when all is gone
I can barely fathom the depth of your love and mercy for me, which is infinite

I do not want to experience the emptiness again without you, even for a minute
I will never stop sprinting towards you, oh Lord

And the goal of eternal life that you have given me, my reward.

The Silence of Worship

The silence of worshiping you Lord

Is found while standing on a mountain top

The snow filled tip that pierces the blue sky

The sun warming the ever magnificent horizon

And the sound of the wind brushing against me

The silence of worshiping you Lord

Is found while lying down in a quiet valley

While the stars in the night sky shows its full strength  

Their guiding light becomes ever clearer in stillness

A constant image of eternity that waits patiently for me

The silence of worshiping you Lord

Is found in the strength of the sea

The waves that come and go with a relentless steadiness

The feel of freedom calling to me through its endless horizon

And its life giving power that reminds me of you

The silence of worshiping you Lord

Is to delve into the magnificent creation you have made

To stand still and see, hear, listen, smell and touch your work

To see its power and wonders is a reminder of your Love for me

Let me not forget to rest in you and remember.

Superificial Christians

Being a Christian, especially single, is a tough place to be in our current generation, esp. when it comes to building relationships.  Churches build their programs for young adults around having fun and serving on projects. Be it a week overseas or a few hours in a project downtown or just a small outreach team.  Churches have serve projects set up for this, pushing people to join.  Community/Growth/Small Groups are set up to build community(esp. for young adults) and pushing them to have fun and be together.  A Hillsong church i went to in London said outright that their small groups are for having fun and not for reading the word of God, which can be done on your own time.  Even though most churches do not say this so blatantly, it does point to a specific issue within our generation.

Here's how it turns out.  You go to church on Sunday, serve in a project or two during the week for outreach, and spend the rest of your free time having fun with your group of Christian friends.  I am not saying anything of this is necessarily wrong, but there is a key element that is missing and a new sort of Christianity that has developed. 

1. Serve projects do not build relationships with those we reach.  Instead one ends up only serving those Christians who are pouring into the lives of the people that they are reaching out too.  What i mean by this is that outreach becomes just another part of your life that church is on Sunday.  When you get home from church, you forget about it, when you come back from a serve project, you forget about it.  You might have fun, or touch someone's life, but will you see them again? For most people, most likely not.  There are those who are dedicated to being there regularly and reach into the lives on a deeper level, but this is a very small amount.  Those are people we should learn from.

2. We spend our weeks around the Christian friends we have.  Our time is about having fun and building community.  Great! Except...not when your whole week revolves around this.  These relationships have also become skin-deep.  You seek to have fun, but you forget that the Christian life is about making disciples and reaching those around you.  This is because one element is missing.

That element is investing into the lives of others. We forget that life is about giving of ourselves, and instead we become selfish with our time.(Phil 2:3)  We would rather have fun, go into serve projects with ulterior motives to impress a girl/guy that you like.  You forget what it means to go to an event that your non-Christian friend invites you too because it isn't cool enough and you'd rather be around the friends from church because it is easy and effortless.  Why invest into the life of your unsaved friend? Or do you even have unsaved friends that you spend time with? We also stop talking to someone that we have a problem with as we would rather not deal with it. So what happens is that we become too superficial with the friends we have.  We spend our time in the moment and forget that that is exactly what Satan wants us to do.  Heaven...as Paul explains it, is where our eyes should be focused on. (Phil. 3:18:21)

I makes me sad seeing so many Christians who forget why we are here on Earth. The narrow path is not about having fun, but taking up your Cross daily and asking yourself...how does God want to use me today?