The Double-Edged Sword

The double-edged sword pierced my body and into my heart with ease. I had fought day and night against my foe, yet winning seemed futile. The cold earth rested below me as I lay with my arms out wide. The battle left me out of energy and out of breath. No more could I defend against the blows, no longer did I fight for my life, and I had nowhere left to run. I welcomed the strike, an end to the misery that the last few days had brought. The double-edged blade knew its mark and its strike was true.

The pain that I felt was sharp and real, yet the wound drew no blood. It cut to the core of my heart, but I could still hear the beats that it took. All I could do was to be still and wait for the coldness of death to overtake me. It never came. A moment of panic started to build up as I lay pinned to the ground, the sword holding me in place. I prayed fervently that God would rescue me, something that I hadn’t done in years.

A sudden stream of emotions flooded through my body, taking over my soul like a bolt of lightning from the clouds above. The pain, the hurt, the tears that I caused to the one whom I loved the most, overwhelmed me. The realization of what I had done, all the yelling, abuse, and pain was from a place of darkness that had resided inside of me. I did not see through it and I could not understand it, not until I was pierced through the heart by this…double-edged sword. It was as if it carried the truth straight into the deepest part of my soul and bringing with it the reality of who I had become and what I had done. It crept up from my heart and into my mind as it overwhelmed my thoughts and emotions.

I knew now that my selfishness, my pride had come in the way. I ruined, what I believed, was the only good thing left in my life. Tears streamed down my eyes as I sought to claw the memories from my mind. The sword had brought conviction, a truth that I was blinded too. It pierced, not my heart, but the darkness surrounding it. It struck deep into my soul, not to finish me, but to redeem it.

I began to understand that the pain which I felt was not from the double-edged sword, it was my own. 

The wound had always been there and the sword only found the source. As it removed itself from my heart, it took with it the darkness that blinded me. I was left broken but with hope. I was in a place of remorse but not without strength to continue on. I knew what I had to do, though the path to redemption would not be an easy one.

Hebrews 4:12

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."