The Mountaintop

The stones echoed in anger as they fell down the side of the mountain and to the valley below. The monotonous tone of the rocks cried out, refusing to keep silent. My fingers grew numb as I grabbed for any and all handholds upon the mountains edge, failing more often than not. My feet slipped and fell on the loose rock, tearing into my skin through the holes of my jeans. This would not deter me, my mind is resolute, and I have to keep climbing upward.

A feral growl grew from deep within as my determination grew. My instincts to survive the climb had all but taken over. Nothing on this mountain would dare to come in my way. My body begged for rest, but I would not have it. I could not have it! The top was in site and my answers will be found there. They had to be, they must be. There was no other recourse, no other path to take. The climb was all that mattered. There would be no rest in this life until I reached my goal.

I had to face God where he would be, to answer for the pain He caused me. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, to scream my pain, my hurt, my sorrows into his face. I wanted him to know. I wanted…I...wanted.

Many plans to prosper me he said, but I do not see prosperity. Sorrow has been my gift and sorrow did not leave. It always found its way back. No more, I could take it no more. I wanted answers, instead there was only silence. This is why I had to meet God at the mountaintop. Here the answer would come, here I will be heard. My petition, my request could not be ignored.

My hand grabbed the edge of the top as I felt a firm grip for the first time throughout the climb. My labored breathing came in rasps, begging for water to quench my thirst. It did not matter, nothing else concerned me in this life. The wind blew its chilling breath as I worked to stand on the firm ground. I swayed in the wind as I cried out to God. “Show me why!!?”

The wind carried the sound of my voice into the clouds above. At that same instant thunder struck, blasting its anger, careening off of the edge of the mountain and bringing me to my knees. In its place was a cross, shining brightly in the sky above. Rain like tears started pelting the ground around me. In my selfishness and sorrow, I had forgotten. This life was not about me, it never was. My tears mixed with those from the sky. I blanket of comfort wrapped around me and I knew, at that point, that God understood my pain too.

I preferred this, I knew, to be in God’s presence. I did not want to go back down the mountain and face my fears and pain. The hurt that this life caused was too great and all I wanted was to find my rest in the presence of God. This is the peace that I craved.